In reality, happy people in fulfilling relationships go out and cheat all the time. Whether you believe that someone can love their partner in the moment of infidelity or not, it's difficult to argue that there was never any love in a relationship just because someone cheated.
"In short, we're capable of loving more than one person at a time," Fisher said. And that's why, Fisher says, some people may cheat on their partner. It's why someone can lay in bed at night thinking about deep feelings of attachment to one person and swing to thoughts of romantic love for another person.
It is possible that your partner can love you and still cheat on you. While this may not be the answer you were looking for, this is sometimes the case in life. In some situations, people cheat because they want to engage in another sexual relationship or have a different sex drive from their mate.
True love never involves cheating. Your partner should protect you and look out for your best interests, always wanting you to be happy. If you have cheated in the past, you may being lying to yourself about your true feelings. Here are some reasons why you don't love the person you cheated on, even if you say you do.
Cheating Doesn't Mean Your Partner Doesn't Love You
Here's what I found: there is little correlation. Some people love their partners, some people don't. And sure, those who don't love their partners have less to hold them back when forming new attachments.
Besides a lack of self-esteem, a cheater lacks respect towards others. The two are closely related. After all, if someone doesn't even respect themselves, how can they respect other people? A cheater engages in unethical behavior that hurts their partner by being unfaithful.
When you cheat on someone, they'll always be emotionally scarred. They'll have their walls up because they don't want to ever be hurt that way again. To feel like your world is crumbling, to believe that things like that happened, but just not to you.
People can cheat on someone they love due to neglect, commitment or self-esteem issues, lack of intimacy, or even revenge. A person who cheated once will likely cheat again, but this is not true for everyone. Infidelity doesn't signify the end of a relationship; a couple can repair their relationship after an affair.
Sometimes, people decide to cheat because they feel unloved, or like they have fallen out of love, with their partner. Sometimes, they feel the romance is gone from their relationship, and having an illicit romance gives them a sense of excitement.
Always remember that it's a choice, not just a mistake. But also keep in mind that you don't have to necessarily give up on your relationship because of cheating. If you feel there's still hope (and love) there, you can choose to give it another go.
In some cases, it stems from unmet needs in a relationship. Issues like lack of communication, boredom, and personal insecurities can fester when they're not fully addressed. If one partner feels like they're never listened to or respected in their primary relationship, they may look for that in another person.
You share things with the other person that you haven't shared with your partner. You confide in the other person about your relationship troubles. You've become more detached and emotionally disconnected from your partner. You think about the other person all the time.
Admittedly, sometimes people choose to cheat because they're in a bad relationship and want out. Sometimes they feel stuck because of kids, finances, social mores, or whatever. So they sneak around to get their needs for connection, intimacy, and validation met by someone other than their spouse.
Can a relationship go back to normal after cheating?
Experts say it's possible for couples to go on to have a happy relationship after infidelity, provided they're willing to put in the work. “The couple can survive and grow after an affair,” says Coleman. “They have to—otherwise the relationship will never be gratifying.”
Among men, 68% feel guilty after having an affair. Even if they haven't confessed the affair, most cheating husbands will feel guilty and express that guilt in their behavior. You may notice subtle changes in their behavior that make you wonder if your spouse is displaying cheating husband guilt.
In general, men are more likely than women to cheat: 20% of men and 13% of women reported that they've had sex with someone other than their spouse while married, according to data from the recent General Social Survey(GSS).
The participants admitted to cheating in their relationship and answered the question at the root of the mystery: Why did you do it? An analysis revealed eight key reasons: anger, self-esteem, lack of love, low commitment, need for variety, neglect, sexual desire, and situation or circumstance.
There are a number of reasons why people get the urge to cheat, from the simple fact of convenience, to more serious issues with intimacy, sex addiction, or personality problems that should be worked through with a mental health professional.
There are consistent associations between infidelity and each of the Big 5 traits. For example, people who cheat in romantic relationships score higher on Neuroticism, Openness to Experience, and Extraversion. They score lower on Agreeableness and Conscientiousness.
They tend to feel like crap about themselves and have a victim mentality, but they often have a big empathy gap when it comes to how their actions affect others. They do what they want, when they want, because they can. Whether they get caught or not becomes more of a logistical issue.
Yes, in rare cases some affairs last a lifetime. But even those rare cases are relationships that are built off of an affair. That's no way to start off on a relationship. Plus, the chances of one of those people having an affair on someone else is just as great, if not greater.